Toddler Tips: Getting your child involved and calm at bedtime
Raise your hand if you would describe your child as a “good sleeper…”
My hand is NOT raised- times two.
I’ve found that when my boys don’t get a good night’s sleep, they’re off the next day- sometimes multiple days. Not to mention my mood is a little wonky.
It’s no secret that sleepy toddlers are grumpy toddlers. We all need sleep to function during the day, and when your child’s sleep routine is thrown off, engagement and learning are hard.
I’ve teamed up with Natalie from Little Magnolia Sleep Consulting to discuss ways to get your toddler calm and involved at bedtime. After all, routines and participation are perfect for language-learning.
You can find Natalie at https://littlemagnoliasleep.com or check her out on social media for tips and tricks.
Toddler Tips: Getting your child calm and involved at bedtime
Transitioning to bedtime can be tough. Your child would much rather keep playing than go to bed, but that’s just not an option, we all need to go to bed at some point. There are several ways to encourage and set your toddler up for success during this transition and limit any pushback that may occur.
Environment
Having the ideal environment for sleep is the best way to optimize your efforts. Make their room as dark as you can. Ideally that’s a 10/10 on the darkness scale, can’t see your hand in front of your face dark. This does two things, one, it signals to your child’s body to secrete melatonin, the help get you sleepy hormone. And two, odds are it still looks like daytime outside, especially during the summer, and this will eliminate the excuse of “the sun is still shining, why am I in bed?”
Check out my blog specifically on Best Blackout Solutions for more details and the best products to get the job done.
Get them involved
Giving your child a role in the bedtime routine is a game changer. They so badly want to be independent so giving them some of that independence, yet within your boundaries allows them to feel like they have a say and therefore they are more willing to corporate and follow the rules.
Bedtime routine chart - Kids love to know what is coming and they definitely thrive on repetition to learn. A bedtime routine chart is a great way to illustrate the order of the routine. They like being able to see what comes next.
Set up a chart in the room and have them point to each step and you simply just ask “what is next?” This gets them involved and excited to see and therefore carry out the next step. You could also put the chart in a clear sheet protector and have them cross off with a dry-erase marker or place a sticker on the step they just completed.
For younger kids, it’s good to not only mention what is coming next but also list out all of the rest of the steps. This reiterates the order and then reiterates that the final step of the routine is them laying in bed quietly.
Let them choose the routine order - Everyone has a routine, and most likely you have decided on that order of the routine for your child. Let them choose the order. You know that it will end with getting in bed and that lotion before the bath isn’t an option but the order of some of the other steps doesn’t matter. Why not let them brush their teeth before the bath?
Take your bedtime routine chart illustration and cut up each step and they can put it back together in the order they choose. Remember though, you’re giving them independence within boundaries so remind them the final step is bedtime and that we can’t put our pjs on before bath time.
Choices throughout - Again mentioning independence, allow your child to have a choice in parts of the routine. When doing so, make sure the options you are offering are equal.
For example, if the transition from the play activity to the first step of the bedtime routine is a difficult one, don’t ask them or tell them they need to get ready for bathtime. Give them a choice in how to go up to the bath, “It’s bath time, would you like to hop like a bunny or crawl like an alligator up to the bath?
“Out of these 5 books, which two would you like to read?
“Here are two sets of pjs, which one would you like to wear to bed?
Calm down time
Activities to calm your child before bed are extremely beneficial. This time allows them to wind-down and allow their body to feel sleepy as melatonin sets in and let’s the routine do its job as well.
Talk about your day. Go through the favorite parts and not so favorite parts and talk about what tomorrow will bring. If your child is older, journaling this is also beneficial.
Coloring. This is a more relaxing activity than running around outside. 10-15minutes of this prior to starting the bedtime routine can help your child settle in for the night.
Yoga or stretching. This can be a really fun physical activity that calms your child and gets them ready for a good night’s sleep.
Remember… screen time is not a good use of this time. Try to keep screens off 1-2 hours prior to bedtime. The blue light from screens interrupts the body’s production of melatonin.
Bedtime with a toddler is not an easy feat, but creating a good environment, good boundaries, and good calming activities can allow your child to settle in for the night and limit the bedtime power struggle. The more they are a part the more likely they are to buy into the process, learn the rules and make this an enjoyable experience each and every night.