Summer Tips
My feelings about summer ebb and flow- of course I feel a bit more relaxed, excited to spend time with the kids, eager to try new activities…
But the lack of structure, the everlasting daylight, the heat, the constant change in routine…that stuff really fuels my anxiety.
Over the years, I’ve kept track of the things that work, and the things that don’t. At least for my family- everyone is different (keep that in mind)! My 3-year-old is a go-with-the-flow kind of kid, my 5-year-old crumbles with every transition and change in routine, and we are always trying to keep up.
So here are just a few of my thoughts on daily activities and avoiding (some of the) meltdowns during summer months.
Daily activities:
1. Don’t overbook yourself.
This one is self-explanatory. I tell myself every year that I won’t overbook our family with activities, cookouts, play dates, etc. but I never follow through. It causes way more stress than it’s worth. Try making a bucket list of things you want to do this summer- big things and little things. For us: try a new playground, visit a museum, go to the beach, and make lemonade. Plan one activity a week or even one a month. Check them off as you go along, and remember to enjoy the quiet, low-key days too.
2. Create some sort of daily routine.
I don’t mean an hourly, day-by-day schedule, that’s impossible (at least for me). But a general schedule so that the kids can pick up on basic expectations. I like to break the day up into 4 chunks: the morning, mid-day (lunch), afternoon, and evening. We tend to do free play in the morning, play outside mid-day, attempt an outing or low-key activity in the afternoon, and prep for dinner/eat together in the evening before bed. It’s crazy that the kids’ internal clocks follow this schedule, too! Right around 10:00, the boys start getting dressed to go outside.
3. Go outside.
I’m not sure how we survive every winter, but I barely survive rainy days in the summer. There is so much more to do outside (and a lot less breaking and spilling things). I try not to give my kids too many things “to do” and instead allow opportunities for creativity. My oldest is not the most creative child, but I’m always fascinated at the games he comes up with. Bikes, scooters, sidewalk chalk, water balloons, nature hunts, frisbees, hide-and-seek…the list goes on! If your child struggles with starting something on their own, provide them with a few choices or use a sensory-based activity to get them started (water table, sand table, etc.).
Avoiding (some of the) meltdowns:
1. Create a schedule.
You know how I just mentioned routines? I’m coming back to them again, just so you know how important they are. Most of the people I know need some sort of routine in their daily lives (kids AND adults). Because- when you know what to expect, you feel more at ease. And guess what- kids are the same. Build a schedule so that transitions are easier, there are less questions, fewer tantrums, and more fun. Schedules can take any form- whatever your child benefits from the most. Verbally review it in the morning, provide visual supports, etc. I promise this will make a difference!
2. Give them “jobs.”
Learning this strategy was a game-changer for me. The more I encourage my kids to “help,” the more helpful they are (who knew). My 5-year-old who struggles with transitions? Particularly when we ask him to come in from outside? We give him a job- it’s magic. “Can you check the mail and bring it inside?” or “Can you push all of the bikes into the garage as fast as you can?” “It’s time for the dog to eat, come inside and feed him!” When we’re on an outing, we have jobs too. Pushing the stroller, holding his brother’s hand, carrying the backpack, etc. He feels more independent and the transition is a lot smoother.
3. Go over expectations ahead of time.
Preparation is key. We all do better when we know better. Before you start the day, or before you attempt a new outdoor activity, set some ground rules. I’ve learned this one the hard way more times than I’m willing to admit (most recent: “water balloons are only thrown at the ground”- AKA not people’s faces). What are they allowed to do? Where can they go? Who can they ask for help? What time will you leave? Where are the bathrooms? I try to avoid negative instructions- such as “no hitting, no throwing” and instead talk about things they CAN do.
4. Always have a Plan B.
The idea of this stinks, but it’s reality. And this goes for small- and big-scale plans. I was dying to do a cooking activity with the boys last summer, and they refused. I had everything prepped, tried to force the activity, and it was a disaster. I wish I went in with a Plan B. Or when we planned a movie-theatre experience (pre-COVID) and my son screamed and threw popcorn the whole time…no Plan B. Ugh, why? Whether the back-up plan is an escape to another location, a favorite toy to distract your child, a place to take a quiet break, a pick-up person in emergencies, think about it in every scenario! You’ll thank yourself later.
And a few of our summer favorites:
Exploring new parks and playgrounds
Having picnics
Going on treasure hunts
Playing in the water table or on a slip-n-slide
Making lemonade and popsicles
Creating obstacle courses with sidewalk chalk
Hiking on nearby trails
Getting ice cream cones or snowballs
Going to museums
Exploring gardens and arboretums
Checking out small theme parks and carnivals
Day trips to the beach
Camping in the backyard
Paper airplane races
Petting zoos
Riding bikes and scooters
Hunting for bugs
Hopefully you’re already doing a lot of this at home, but if you learned something, I hope it helps! Obviously these strategies don’t only apply to the summer months, but I find that summer is a big black hole for me.
A lot of families ask about vacations- advice for easing that giant change in routine, and I think that’s a whole other post, so I’ll save it for down the road! For now, have a great summer! I hope you get to check some fun things off your bucket list.